The Needle in a Haystack

Leap!!!!

...writing you from beautiful ( *cough* ) downtown Greensboro.  Seriously, I like Greensboro, seems much more compact and happening then Raleigh AND way more exciting then O town!  The first day of the state basketball tournies are over ...it was the best of times... it was the worst of times.... JV won ( yeah) and will progress to the finals tomorrow.. Varsity, lost bitterly... and I do mean bitterly... we were missing two starters and Christopher was feeling rather rough coming off the sinus infection ( I took him to the dr. for an antibiotic yesterday and it hadn't really kicked in fully yet).. and we literally got our hineys kicked.... serious serious hiney kicking... I had to leave the gym I was getting so geared up... Our friend Dan was laughing about how in most things I am so not competitive... but  put me  in the basketball stands... my thorn I suppose...  It IS a great time of fellowship with most of the teams though.  The three of us enjoy being able to visit with other families.

..My book arrived yesterday... that was QUICK!  I'm not sure what I'll do if Susan doesn't pick up the writing pace...The books have been such a great diversion through this whole cancer scare and now the up coming biopsy on Wed.  Nothing like getting lost in a few good books ....Mistletoe Man  had such a special story in it for me.  I have the next two books in the series and then will have to hit up the new trilogy...

..anyhow, its been a long day... and tomorrow will be even a bit longer... the games start at 4:00 so we have a few hours after check out to watch a few of the other games and do some volunteer time

...I appreciate all of your continued prayers... I really do have a great feeling about the biopsy on Wed... a real peace about it...

.......I pray you all have a fine day...all day long!

Feb 26th

I posted earlier this morning and for some reason our internet was in a funk.... rain does that sometimes when you are on satellite.

... Christopher has spent the last 3 days with a nasty cold and fever... he is back to his old self today but his coach sent out an email basically telling him not to come to practice tomorrow.. rest up for the states on Friday...

.. I spent the last couple of rainy days ( yeah) buried in books!  Lavender Lies. Mistletoe Man & Bloodroot  I hit a brick wall with Indigo Dying.. I htought it was in the stack of books I bought recently.. it wasn't..~sigh~ so I quickly went to amazon and ordered it...I do have the An Unthymley Death and other Garden Mysteries to hold me over until the next book gets here. 

My friend  Catheryn sent me the most wonderful package.  I'll post pics soon because you have to see the lovely prayer shaw she crocheted for me.  Absolutely beautiful... and I know each stitch  was done with prayers for me and my recovery... she also included an VERY pretty doily, a book mark and a new series of books for me to read ... Miss Julia books..these really do look fun and they are set right here in NC.

... You know, had I stayed with the old dr. I would be out of surgery by now minus lots of pieces and parts... I really know the Lord led us down this other path and I find peace in the fact that everything that happens is in HIS hands...

... off to fix a bit of dinner and then bury myself in a book... a great way to mark time until my life gets back to normal.... you know, no cancer... Josh home...just the wonderful life with my children and husband & extended family..friends... I'm ready... very ready...

... I pray you all have a fine day... all day long!

I don't want ot be a duck....

Quack Quack Quack Quack... gosh, ever since MIL& I went to Cracker Barrel on Thursday and saw his stuffed duck singing and dancing The Chicken Dance, I can't get the song out of my head..~sheesh~....at times its almost a torture...
.. We spent the day yesterday with basketball games...we watched 3 and Christopher played in two... They won both  and C did very well scoring an average of 15 pts per game.  Today we play two more games.

..Jeremy & Heather called last night... they did NOT get an Explorer but an Expedition...~sigh~  Wondering how this semi crunchy mama raised a child who would consider an Expedition!  Perhaps the hopes will be to fill it with lots of grandchildren....

...Like balm to my soul was a nice long call from Josh this morning.  Things are a bit shaky over there even with the new cease fire ( an answer to prayer)  but he was his old self this morning..and spent time on his last mission planning his new political strategy since he feels like he should run for political office some day LOL!  Since we are paying KDR ( re Haliburton) 28.00 per plate of food per soldier & working civilians over there... I think maybe we could use some fresh new gung ho political meat!

... We're getting ready for another day of basketball today ..it could be fun....or not...

.. Yesterday at the games I had the honor of meeting a blog buddy Becky.... If your reading this, thanks so much for coming up and introducing yourself..it really meant alot to me knowing how faithful your payers are and meeting you and your beautiful children... please stay in touch...

...have a fine day.. all day long!

Basketball and more basketball

.. Yesterday was such a busy day... shopping and lunch with mom in law, then a basketball game for Christopher...They won.. C did well... today starts the regional tournie to determine who goes to states next weekend.  My blood pressure tends to go up a bit and my usual non competitive spirit turns to the evil Hawk monster ..I have been known to disagree with refs and the whole 9 yards...

... You know, the Lord is really hearing my pleas and the prayers of the saints ( as always)... I realized I can spend the next two weeks before the biopsy being a basket case, or I can enjoy each day here that the Lord has given me....
I choose life.  " This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you; life & death, blessings & curses.... now choose life  that you and your children may live." Duet 30:19   

.. Heather and Jeremy are now the proud owners of an Explorer... not as green as I would have liked them to buy... but they are young... thank God Heather is on the mend and things are working out.

...I woke up in the middle of the night last night ( someone in the room was sleeping very loudly) and I began to pray, the fear of cancer tends to come over me at times like that.. and another old hymn came into my head...

..." I can hear my Savior say, thy strength indeed is small...child of weakness watch and pray..I will be thine all in all"...

..Isn't that so true!!
...a few years ago my MIL and I went to hear Anne Graham Lotz speak, ( Don't you love she is Anne with an E!!!!!)  Fernando Ortega was touring with her.  Both MIL & I have a couple of his CD's... You can find out about him HERE .  The hymn I quoted above is on one of his albums... I really recommend buying one..two ...5 of his albums.. I only have one but hope to have more in the future... his voice really provides a soothing comfort..like David with the harp!

..I'm going to have a fine day ...all day long... I pray you all will too!

They Swarmed Me Like Bees....

...Chris sent me an email this afternoon, here are the Bible verses that were part of the email

sa 118:11  They surrounded me, surrounded me on every side; in the name
of the LORD I cut them off! 
Psa 118:12  They surrounded me like bees; they went out like a fire
among thorns; in the name of the LORD I cut them off! 
Psa 118:13  I was pushed hard, so that I was falling, but the LORD
helped me. 
Psa 118:14  The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my
salvation. 

We are feeling a bit bee swarmed around here today...

But God is good ..so good... the insurance issues 
are behind us so we can breathe easy about that

Josh was not wounded in the attack on his base..
pray for the several soldiers that were there
at his base..and for the cleric to call an 
extension on his cease fire.

.. While another biopsy March 5 involves more waiting..
Let's specifically pray the Lord allows this biopsy to
came back as a miracle...that HIS name will be glorified

...yes, trials today have swarmed me like bees, 
but the Lord has guided us through today.....

Prayers for Josh

...Josh's base was hit Tuesday... no word from him yet... please please pray...

yahoo world   he is at Rustimyah...

The Drs Office Call

Apparently the Dr feels like the margins of  the biopsy were not definite enough and so she has requested a cone biopsy before the hysterectomy... This will be done March 5th under a local... the results of that biopsy will determine the radical -ness of the hyserectomy and any other additional treatments to make me cancer free...

... I am going to believe that God will use this biopsy to show the praying saints his healing powers.  Continue to pray please

Update

...I was going to wait until I had official confirmation on one test from
the new dr. before I posted but felt like there was enough news without to
give everyone an update since I know so many of you have prayed so
faithfully ..

.. The new Dr. was great! She is a GYN specialist and spent a good chunk of
time sitting with me over open books, brochures, discussing options but most
importantly: going over reports & blood work , biopsy reports to let me know
that I was still within the margins of Stage 0. This was such great news
that I burst into tears in her office..!  she felt the "cancer" was confined
to one area, and then gave me several options in treatments..just that
morning at the old Dr. here in Oxford, I was given a rather grim overview on
how the surgery would be preformed with a much more bleek recovery.  Dr
Teasly ( the specialist) game plan was much much less invasive with a much
quicker recovery, and at this point there will be no need for chemo/ rad
treatments as follow... !!!!  Once again I burst into tears of pure joy.

.. Yesterday morning I was given a positive report on the endrometrial
biopsy form the local Dr, however, we learned at the specialist office hat
the report that was NOt the endometrial biopsy.. they had given me the
results of one of the first est that was given.  The specialist felt like
while this probably was not a major issue that the margins and blood work
including ultra sound would define it NOT in the uterus, she needed to wait
on the final test to come back to move ahead with treatment.

..Yesterday evening I called the old Dr. and the nurse read me what she said
was on the paper from the endometrial biopsy that had just come back..they
were faxing those to the specialist...  While I am not a dr ( and I don't
play one on TV).. from what I understood, none of what is present is
invasive... which means that the cancer is localized and nothing but a
hysterectomy will be needed.  I  called the specialist office this morning
and she was in surgery but her nurse said that yes they had received the
biopsy and felt if we were off game plan I would have been called right
away.

..So that is where we are... surgery WILL be at Rex.. tentatively for
sometime the week of the 10th of March..

... Please continue to pray as we look at the surgery, but also praise God
for the answers to pray  and healing HE has begun ...We can look at the
whole process we have gone through and see God's perfect orchestration and
leading to where we are now...

... If you could say a prayer for my daughter in law Heather, last night she
was in a car accident ( not her fault) and her car was totaled.. She is very
sore from head to toe.. but we are thankful that the air bag and seat belt
did what they were suppose to do!

... Thank you all again... I literally could feel the prayers...

In God's hands
Lea

Feb 16th

... what a day... sitting through 4 basketball games... whew~ I did get lots and lots of hugs along with a dinner lovingly fixed by our friends Ingrid & Fritz...lots of yummy healthy foods high in antioxidants... with just the right balance of comfort foods thrown in. Probably the meal would have gone in the freezer for next week but I was so tired both physically and mentally that it just seemed right to eat the feast made of love.  It made me cry just a little bit ( of course that is NOT hard to do lately) thinking about the love and concern Ingrid & Fritz put into the meal while preparing it.  I know they are great prayer warriors for us, we being prayer warriors for them as Ingrid  went through breast cancer before Christmas. 

... The latest update is that MOnday I will meet with a gyn specialist in Raleigh and we decided as a family to move the surgery to Rex Hospital . This hospital is a UNC affiliate and has nothing but glowing reports from everyone I have talked to.  My new GYN ( Heather is one of the receptionist) is right there at the hospital and if I should need it the cancer center is in the same building(complex).  I want to say that as of right this second, all reports that have come back so far indicate this cancer can be stopped in its tracks with a hysterectomy.  Of course this could change when the next two tests come back, or any new test the new dr. orders... or even weeks after the surgery when the biopsy reports come back.  But for today, and if you have ever lived with something like this ,today it can be treated and cured.  A prayer request for today  would be for me to sit on that fact until I have reason not to.
..I woke up this morning and immediately asked Chris to pray with me ( what a treasure to have a hubby who will drop what he is doing to pray with me ANY time)  I reminded the Lord of the verse " be anxious for nothing but with prayer and supplication make your requests known unto God."... I asked him for peace today... that I could enjoy the day  be happy in the day... feel safe in the day... trust fully that God is in the Heavenlies with my good in the plan...
..with just small hiccups of tears he allowed that for me...

....I must tell you the story of why this cancer has made me so raw....
..Its the story of my friend Pam.... In Jan 2000 we both came down with the flu... we felt HORRIBLE and spent many times laughing and joking with each other in the long road to recovery about what hypochondriacs we must be..every headache was a brain tumor... every upset stomach was colon cancer...  we would send our selves in to fits of laughter at our imaginations... In Feb I got better... but Pam stayed tired... her Dr., put her on a vitamin telling her she was run down... and we giggled that it must not be anemia in our imaginations it was leukemia..... but Pam's headaches got worse... and on March 30th she went to the dr.... April first ( no fooling) her husband was calling us form Duke hospital... Pam had a rare aggressive form of leukemia . she received her first doses of plasma that night ..followed by chemo..her AB negative blood posed a bit of a problem... but I spent everyday with her...Some days we laughed and tried on wigs and chemo hats... some days we would do crafts... we prayed.... some days we just sort of looked at each other and burst into tears..... Pam got sicker.. we did bone marrow drives...we prayed harder... ( I asked for absolution... I wasn't sick... Pam was... I felt guilty)  Pam's hubby and I disagreed on what path to treatment she should take.., but ultimately it was God's treatments and hours before she drew her last breathe... I held her hand and said good bye... she knew... I knew....
...Pam had gone to heaven... she had faced her worse fear, cancer, and while it might have looked like cancer won... the Lord gave her the prize of eternal life!  How great and good is our God!  Oh the hours I cried, the nights while she was in the  hospital I got up every morning praying scriptures .. I fasted....
.. to this day I hurt.. I miss my dear friend... and here I am... with cancer.... and I know that my cancer is no where near as serious at this point as her's( and by God's grace it won't be) but it hangs heavy on me... I see Pam in the hospital bed... I see the fear on her families face, I understood the  process of one test leading to another test.... and I'm scared....

... I'm scared because of what could....

ου γαρ εδωκεν ημιν ο θεος πνευμα δειλιας αλλα δυναμεως και αγαπης και σωφρονισμου

I always wanted to say, let me translate that from the Greek for you~smile~

For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. 2Timothy 1:7

.. Here Paul is talking about not being timid of speaking of Jesus... but you know, its all timidity and fear.. we have the POWER of Jesus in us... power...

... I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength...

... You know, hymns aren't sung very much anymore in churches.. but these last few days those wonderful hymns have given me comfort... oh the wonderful advice and worship they give.

..I'll leave you with today's favorite... also my dear pastor Scott's in WV, the very man who knew me as long as my own folks, favorite...

... cause you know... it is all about Jesus... just Jesus..

Are you weary, are you heavy hearted?
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.
Are you grieving over joys departed?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Refrain

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus,
He is a Friend that’s well known.
You’ve no other such a friend or brother,
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Do the tears flow down your cheeks unbidden?
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.
Have you sins that to men’s eyes are hidden?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Refrain

Do you fear the gathering clouds of sorrow?
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.
Are you anxious what shall be tomorrow?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Refrain

Are you troubled at the thought of dying?
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.
For Christ’s coming kingdom are you sighing?
Tell it to Jesus alone.

Refrain

Each and everyone of you...have a fine day...all day long!

Happy Valentines Day

...I pray each of you have a wonderful LOVE day.  While I am still in a holding pattern waiting for 2 more test results & insurance certification for surgery on Tuesday, I still had a busy day.  I went in to sign paper work for the dr's office o release my records to the Red Cross so hopefully Josh can come home for 10 days.  THAT would be medicine for my heart!  While there one of the blood test came back... CA 125.  This is one of the screenings to rule out the cancer had spread to my ovaries and it came back normal... My composure was great walking out of the drs office... but once in the car I did a very loud shout out to Jesus.... I whooped my self hoarse!!  While I know there is still the edometrial biopsy and the imaging results to come back... this was just great news... a bright spot when it seems every test that has come back is just one thing worse then the test before.  I was ready for good news.  I am a bit anxious to meet the surgeon & discuss my now rather lengthy list of questions and see exactly where we are with all of this.  I DO know there are no absolutes.. this will be a deal where 6 moths is good... then a year... then 5 years... but my heart tells me all will be well..
Do not fear, for I am with you;
         Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God
         I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
         Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
- Isaiah 41:10 (NAS)

...It didn't hit me until almost 11:00 ish that it was Valentines Day, and in all of my self absorption I had gotten my sweetie zip... I decided a steak dinner was in order  Yep, I must say that did the trick! I received a very sweet card and some chocolates... Yep, he knows me back!

... I did a bit of shopping for things I will need next week, did a mopping on the floors and tomorrow hope to 1) hear from the dr. & 2) do a good clean on the fridge and stock up on some groceries and run final errands.... some how I am thinking Chris' t-shirts will not be appropriate  hospital attire!! 

.... One thing I want to share, I came to know this morning that ever as important to me as the drs. , nurses, pathologist, etc... its all of you... those who pray and encourage.... my heart is full.. and the edge of fear  eases when I see the folks the Lord has chosen to bless me with...

... My friend Amy wrote the sweetest prayer for me... in it she quoted the 23rd Psalm  " you prepare a table before me in the presence of mine enemies"... this cancer IS my enemy... and my table??? It is full... and we are all sitting around it !

Hopefully I will have more facts tomorrow... until then... we will keep up the good fight...

...............and have a fine day... all day long