The Needle in a Haystack

Can You Dehydrate From Crying Too Much??

Cause today I sure feel like I could!  I'm sure there will be sometime in the next 12 months when I stop crying...I just don't really see much of an end to that right now.
....There is something insanely wrong about having to sit with your child as he makes up his last will and testament.  There is something more wrong about him making you look at him and say " I want to be buried in full military  honors... and if dad can't preach tell him to ask  Pastor Chalmers or Pastor Page. 
  Why on earth am I having to put that information in my head??   

And  how in blue blazes am I suppose to not cry when he says " MOm, please don't cry cause it makes me sad...Golly son, Baghdad makes me sad....

.... Tonight we said our good byes even though he flies out tomorrow.  His choice ( and a good one) for me  NOT to take him to the airport... that will be his dad's job while his girlfriend and I  split a box of tissues.  I would so be the one holding on to his leg as he was walking up the tarmac  ...probably NOT a pretty sight. Maybe a very good idea I'm not going to the airport...

..The men seem to think that my day needs to progress as normal... as normal as can be.. yep... make the bed, take your vitamins...send your child to Iraq..... pretty normal...

... God's peace to mama's all over the world crying their eyes out tonight... and prayers for our troops....

What a Busy Day~

... and I was so thankful for the distractions!  First was Networks.  I read a bit, took a walk, visited with a couple of folks..then it was to lunch with Shelley to swap her honey for some mint.  We ended up playing catch up and sharing a pizza for a couple of hours and the visit was so pleasant and just what I needed!
Jeremy called and talked for a half hour, Josh called for another 1/2 hour and Jamie from his beach chair on vacation needed a full 45 minutes.  I'm not sure I have been so needed by all three at once since they were wee ones.  The thought did cross my mind that Dad might have put them all up to it! 

....The picture?  Our bee balm.... soon cutting will be dried for soaps and tea ( did you know that bee balm is also bergamot  which is what makes Earl Grey , Earl Grey

...off to finish the dishes, do our family Bible Study..and drop into bed.  Tomorrow will be a very long day

Today I choose

..Life and Blessings...I can spend the next year wallowing in self pity  which is bound to get old after a time, or I can forge ahead by HIs grace. Yes, it DOES stink that my son happens to be trained as a turret gunner.... but he has the greatest Protector going with him...I just have to focus on that...

...I want to thank everyone who is praying for Josh and our family.  It is a great comfort to know  folks all over the country are lifting us up... I truly would like to open an invitation for anyone to let us know if Chris and I can pray for you... we consider it an honor and a privilege.

...one of the things added today to our prayers is this request  from BeckyLynn  we are so blessed here in the USA to have the medical abilities to fix things like this.  Our prayers are not just for the girl, but for the hearts of those who can help her. 

...... We spent the day fellowshipping with Josh... how good to have days of laughter before he goes away...his favorite foods... his hugs... We also worked a bit on the bathroom remodel this afternoon.  We are putting the wood part of the floor in and it looks so wonderful!  Chris got quite far with it and I sewed a curtain for the linen closet.  I do believe it will turn out quite nice.    Still so  much to do

..but it will be done... The bathroom/ bedroom remodel will keep me busy this up coming year... a good distraction

.... 

And Today

  I must have prayed a gazillion prayers last night .  I have a very patient and loving Father who listened to each one...I slept off and on... praying, crying, begging.  This morning I look back at the night as no more then an adult temper tantrum.  I want nothing more then my child not to go to Iraq, to ride the streets of Baghdad..I want to protect him.  When I gave my self a good shaking down I realized there were woman all over the world shedding the same tears....on both sides of the war.
  I try hard not to cry in front of Josh.  I have these visions of the Spartan women bravely telling their male children to go fight and not to come back unless they win...but Josh knows... he gulps hard and gives me a squeeze and says " Mom, I'll have the biggest gun( he is a turret gunner) and if I run out of ammo there...I have a9 mil...." 
He smiles, hes ready...his friends are there and he wants to help them

..... and I wonder how the "other Joshua's " mother felt when he and Caleb fought battles.... The very same God that brought down the walls of Jericho go before my Joshua... the very very same God..

.... My husbands tears are more silent...he jokes... he cranks rock and roll music and dances me around the kitchen.. his heart breaks to see my heart break.  He has confidence in our son. He reminds me" what better personality to send over there... he is a fighter... he has always been a fighter...and his soul belongs to Jesus.".The crack in his voice when he speaks is only pride, his son has convictions and he is fearlessly going to complete them

..There will be more tears...the news is now banned from our home... I'll count each day as blessed when the telegram " we regret to inform you..." does not come...

...

One week from today

..and my dearest child leaves ..one month in Ms... a year in Baghdad.....please prayers for him...

Sorry to Disappoint You

..I so wanted to belong to the establishment and have a post on our "Harry" party... or so the room I have decorated in Hogwart... or even give a book review, perhaps telling the saga of how I got my copy... but I must confess.  ~sigh~ I've never read a Harry Potter book, nor have I seen the movie.  I'm not really sure why I never jumped on the band wagon.  We have the 1st book on the shelf but I have never ever been one for fairy tales.  and that might have been the clamp that sealed it for me.  I tolerated Thumbalina  when I was 4  but I felt such heartache over the Ugly Duckling having to endure torment until he became a swan that my mom had to stop reading.  I worried about Snow White living with 7 strange little men and wondered if Cinderella resolved her family issues.  My mother gave up and shove biographies in my hands.  Not so much fiction and lots of facts.  The only thing I had to fret about was Jane Addams have a slight limp, but her dad was rich so she wasn't taunted so much.... anyhow....I digress...
..Thursday I decided to see if it was still in me to get excited about something like this... I honestly opened my mind to the possibility of being at a book store at midnight to buy my very own copy..., just to be part of the whole... but... nothing... I couldn't even raise an eyebrow at the thought.. The world marked time from London around the globe as Harry's last adventures hit the selves.... I slept....
...I'm not sure why I can't get stoked for these sort of things anymore... crossed off the list are: waiting 2 hours to ride Its a Small World at Disney, camping out for Crosby ,Stills and Nash tickets ( they probably give those away for free these days, AND waking up earlier then usual on sat. mornings to eat Chocolate Poptarts and green Hi-C... just not there any more....
....
...not that I'm dead yet...
...I do have some sweet little window charms hitting etsy tomorrow made from chandelier prisms..very limited amount...

... and Sunday was just fabulous with our Peeps ...Dana made speghetti and a strawberry frozen cake thing with a chips ahoy crust ( can you go wrong there????) ...there was a small group there that has asked Chris to do a teaching on Mark and we had agreat time...lots of good conversation and questions.  We all learned TONS... He goes back in two weeks.

... and since I'm not reading Harry Potter right now..I AM reading...The Constant Princess  the story of Katherine, the daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella who married Henry the 8th..she died head in tact!

.....A bit tired today.. Networks , houseworks and a bit of crafting... I also made a pig out of myself and ate about  a bazillion homemade granola bars. This is one of Laine's  recipes. 

Chewy Granola Bars

Chewy Granola Bars

1 c. brown sugar
2/3 c. peanut butter (I use natural)
1/2 c. honey
1/2 c. melted butter
2 t. vanilla

Mix in a big bowl. Then add:

3 c. oats
1/2 c. coconut
1/2 c. sunflower seeds
1/2 c. raisins
1/3 c. wheat germ
2 t. sesame seeds
1 c. chocolate chips

Stir in well. Then press into a greased Texas sheet pan. Bake 20 minutes at 350. Cut while still warm, then let cool before serving.

...They seem a bit gooey when they come out but after they cool a bit they are just right!  I keep talking myself into the healthy part and ignoring the butter, peanutbutter and sugar~sigh~
...Josh got another call from his unit commander today... tomorrow is his final with the police dept... according to the commander he will be gone by Aug 1st... this will be the 3rd time he is given a date... I told him to finalize the police dept...I'm getting rather tired of our government jerking my childs chain... not to mention this mama's heart... I've chained myself to a fence in war protest before... I can do it again!...( of course now I'd need a port a potty close by)..
.. everyone have a fine night... and Jeremy, if you read this call your mother

Exhausted!

It was like a major craft marathon from Thursday night until this evening... I'm young enough to have to good ideas, old enough that the arthritis tends to make the fingers catch and the wrists clamp up after all the work!  Here's a list of what was accomplished
3 pairs of the fingerless gloves in the picture in wool
4 pairs in acrylic
2 iron on transfer shirts ( one for me of teaser and the Firecat, one for CD of his vacation birds)
3 pincushions
a tissue holder
curtains for the bathroom cabinet complete with ball fringe ( I so love ball fringe)
a pillow  embellished with fabric yo-yo's
3 batches of poison ivy soap
3 batches of flea soap
AND a cutie hand crocheted wallet
PLUS a crocheted stuffie mouse and a crocheted flower pin with vintage button.

....I'm crafted out....
a few of the things are listed in my etsy.... a couple for ebay... a few for the 5.00 swap and some for Emily's birthday

.. We also tackled yard clean up today since the weather was just wonderful and BEGGED for us to be outdoors.

...Josh is on a medical hang up with Iraq ( yeah) and moving forward with the police dept ... he has housing that needs um... a a bit of work  Jamie and Em are at the beach for Em's birthday..

....I'm going to tuck myself in with a cup of chamomile  and start one of the new books on my reading list...
..I hope everyone has a fine night ...all night long!

On Being 16

I haven't written a schoolie type post in awhile, and just because its summer  doesn't mean The End of the Road School is on hiatus.  We are very relaxed though, opening up large blocks of time for all of us to learn new things.  I'm trying  new art type adventures, Chris is tending to some of the heirloom plants on the property..but the absolute biggest change has come from Christopher.  For the last 6 years its been all about the hardwood... basketball stats, basketball games, conditioning Nothing else really seemed to ever matter.  The last month has been like watching a some one find a whole new world... he has found forums of folks with common interests, picked up his guitar and started playing in earnest, and making great videos and taking pictures with my camera.  As a matter of fact most of the lighthouse pictures were Christopher's.  He still loves basketball.  we still get up at 5:00 every morning and drive the hour plus to Cary for conditioning.  He still runs 2 miles every night and lifts weights.  The love of the game will never change, but its great for him to arm himself with new talents and test the waters for new interests.  This week add in studying the DMV book for his permit test on Tuesday. It's a gret mileston for a 16yo guy.

.... and what do I do in the a.m. at Cary Academy while he is conditioning?  Lots of things.  I walk, I crochet, sew.  This morning I read the sweetest little book called The Midwife's Apprentice" by Karen Cushman.  Its written probably between  a 6 and 8th grade level although the content was probably a bit more mature   I was able to finish the book in the amount of time Christopher practiced. I truly recommend it as a quick little read.

...I leave you with a my tube video that Christopher made .  His buddy Daniel has no clue what Christopher is doing, I think it makes it even funnier.  Good Clean Fun   

Have a fine ( and cool) night... all night long!

No Christopher !!!!!

You can't take the lighthouse home with you!

Can You say Slipcovers???????

...a month ago I bought a new bottle of Febreeze .  Every so often when it just gets musty I give the furniture a good spray.  I love the fresh smell it leaves and it completes a clean house ... So after a good scrub of the living room I decided to freshen up with a good spray.  So I grabbed the bottle and began to spray... the swags, the recliners, the sofa... but the smell wafting from the furniture wasn't spring scent.... it had the smell...of..... CLOROX!!!!  OH My, the blotches began to show on my furniture  as I grabbed rags and started  scrubbing as quickly as I could... a quick call to hubby and  he confessed to replacing the Febreeze with clorox to spray when he replaced the hot water heater....I'm not sure the man train of thought that put the bottle back in the cleaning caddy.... I don't want to think about that right now... I must concentrate my thoughts on new slip covers and trying to convince myself clorox spots are in this season... after I have a good cry....~sigh~